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everyone's a critic

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Jun. 10th, 2006 | 01:33 pm
location: carroll st. cafe
mood: irateirate
music: sly and family stone

since my garbage disposal is destroyed, which leads to a series of events that enables me to escape my home and go out to eat instead, i like to explore and try different places when consuming calories.

tonight, i decided on east atlanta. the earl is usually packed on friday, it's loud, and the portions are far too gigantic. the pizza place won't let me smoke inside. the gravity pub food is...well, not the best. and the new graveside place is very expensive.
flatiron's food is subpar, as well.

so i decided to see what they had done to the space that was formerly the delicious heaping bowl. it's now called "frog's cantina". i was interested by the large number of yuppies that congregated on their porch. admittedly, it was a crapshoot. yuppies have some good taste sometimes, such as everybody's pizza and alon's bakery, both in the highlands, yuppie central. then again, you also see them at taco mac, and front page news.

i walked into an arcade machine, which was strategically placed right at the entrace, as soon as you open the door. the menu is not on the outside window. these clues should have caused me to turn around and leave, but i kept going - simply because i'm a nice guy. when the first thing you see in a restaurant is galaga, and you're hungry, it makes you really confused.

so to make me feel at home, two different waiters came out of nowhere and asked me if i wanted to sit somewhere. i was baffled by this duo of service - given there was no clear reason why one of them just couldn't have said "sit wherever you like!" each one had a menu and silverware in hand.

"i'll...just sit at the bar, uh, thanks."

then i got a great idea. i'm a big fan of the margarita, as anyone at el myr will have you know. i decided they could redeem themselves, both on food and service, if the drink was at least comparable.

i asked for a house margarita, and recieved about 8 ounces of water. really good tequila can have little taste, but the taste it does have sneaks up on you and shoots you with flavor when it does. water, on the other hand, goes down your throat and that's that. i downed the entire thing in about 2 minutes. the next time i'm there, i'll just ask them to hold the ice cubes and mix, and perhaps whatever well tequila they're using will come out of the plastic bottle and taste like something. there's also something moderately insulting about a plastic margarita glass. am i at a family cookout? are we going to see fireworks and play with the schnauzer? maybe throw a frisbee? if you didn't water down your margaritas, then perhaps people would pay more for them and then you could afford real glass. only eight year olds drink tequila out of a plastic cup.

disgusted, but hungry, i decided to get an appetizer and perhaps the food would redeem itself. for $3 on the menu was an item called "empanadas". if you don't know what those are, they're pretty delicious. it's like a fried pastry stuffed with meat and cheese and whatnot, like of like samosas, the same concept. when empanads are made by a real latin american family, it's a pretty big deal. the entire family gathers around and everyone does something different and people scream and throw them in a frying pan and grandma beats your aunt with a spatula. the men do their duty and drink and play chess.

more to the point, a massive amounts of empanadas are made for a given family. it's like the entire kitchen and parts of the living room are converted into a small factory and labor force producing empanadas by the gross. after two hours of this, there are enough empanadas to feed a small unit of zapatistas.

so she comes back and drops this plate in front of me with one (that's una) empanada. for those of you who don't speak spanish, when we add an 's' to the end of a word, it makes it plural, just like in english. i'm not asking for a basket of empanadas, but i wouldn't have been surprised to get that many, either. three would have been the ideal amount for $3. but one? it was decent, but even i wouldn't pay my grandmother $3 for one empanada, and she wouldn't rip me off, either.

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Comments {1}

Mockingbird Girl

(no subject)

from: rheostat001
date: Jun. 10th, 2006 11:37 pm (UTC)
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what can I say? It's a chain. their special burrito is decent. decent like willy's or moe's... so yeah, they suck... and this is quite the entertaining piece... thought about writing any food stories lately?

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